Couples Therapy using Emotionally Focused Therapy

 

WHY EFT?

We are born to need each other. The human brain is wired for close connection with a few irreplaceable others.   Accepting your need for this kind of emotional connection is not a sign of weakness, but maturity and strength so don’t feel ashamed of this need for a safe loving bond. (Sue Johnson) Read more on EFT and watch this video.

Quite often, we may find ourselves in a relationship with our partners where we feel disconnected, alone, hurt and sad.    Sounds familiar?

Research in EFT shows that relationships and marriages often fail not because of conflict, financial problems or lack of sex, but rather because of emotional disconnection with our partners. Sue Johnson in her book Hold Me Tight (2009) and Love Sense (2013) explains that we have a wired-in need for emotional contact and responsiveness from significant others. It is a survival need, just like when an infant/child seeks, in many ways, reassurance from his/her caregivers that they will be there for him/her in moments of distress. Such attunement to these moments and needs assists us in regulating our emotions and thus feel safe and secure with our loved ones.  This is the foundation of attachment theory.

Watch this valuable video to learn more about attachment from infant to adulthood!!!

So…If you are experiencing some of the warning signs that you and your partner are drifting apart because…

  • You and your partner are constantly arguing
  • You feel blamed, attacked, angry, frustrated
  • It feels like your partner is on the defense and has withdrawn
  • You feel devalued, not appreciated and alone
  • It feels like you are living with a room mate; lacking intimacy

Then… do not wait until the decision to separate is made.

Couples are advised to work on their relationship as soon as they detect some of these signs and seek professional help.

HOW CAN I HELP?

In line with research, the purpose of couple’s sessions is to help you and your partner reconnect emotionally so both of you feel safe and secure in the relationship. When this safety and security is established, together you can better withstand many of the stresses that life presents to you.

In a safe atmosphere, I will assist you, as a couple, to identify both your negative patterns of interaction that results from the fights or arguments you may repetitively get caught in, known as “demon” dialogues, as well as the underlying emotions that accompany this pattern.

Expressing and sharing these most intimate emotions with each other provides the grounds and foundation for emotional reconnection and thus marital satisfaction.

Learn more about emotions by watching this amazing video clip.  Enjoy!!!

Want to know more about “demon” dialogues? Read here and try to identify your pattern!!!

Don’t wait for the pattern to take over!!!! Contact me and let me help you stop the pattern so that you can begin to have a safe and secure relationship with your partner!!!

If you would like to know your attachment style, please click here.